Sometime in 2016 or 2017, Iain and Michelle both joined a military news website (SOFREP) and participated in a community full of lively discussions. They don't remember the first time they interacted in the same discussions, but each of them gradually grew to appreciate the thoughtful and nuanced way the other approached complex topics, especially in a world determined to stay polarized by superficial memes and soundbites and political lines arbitrarily drawn in the sand.

Eventually, Iain and Michelle migrated some of their conversations over to Facebook and Messenger, digging deep into Supreme Court decisions (US and Canada), history, geology, engineering, nuclear power, western water, and sundry other mutually interesting topics. They didn't always agree on things, but they were fascinated by each other's perspective, and made room to really listen and understand why the other person thought and felt the way they did.

By the summer of 2022, Iain and Michelle found themselves talking every single day, sometimes for hours at a time, other times intermittently throughout the day. They both had extremely busy lives between work and other responsibilities, but they enjoyed each other's company, and appreciated the good humor and thoughtful sounding board and endlessly curious nature of their conversations.

Michelle attended a Young Women Girls' Camp that summer as an Assistant Camp Director, and she spent several days in a row without cell service in the mountains. She was surprised to realize how much she missed talking to Iain every day.

When Michelle was asked to be a Relief Society President at her church, to serve and lead the women in her local congregation, she felt completely overwhelmed with how to juggle all the responsibilities in her life. In addition to spending much time in prayer seeking guidance and comfort, Michelle found herself talking things through with Iain. She would come home from a long day of meetings or activities, completely "peopled out" and drained of energy. As she poured out her heart and worries and hopes and uncertainties and conflicts, just the process of communicating with Iain would recharge her batteries so she had energy to tackle the next big thing on her endless list.

Michelle and Iain quickly discovered a mutual love for reading and started exchanging some of their favorite book titles as a natural part of their conversations. It created an informal sort of book club between them, where they would recommend favorite books they thought the other person would like, and then light up when it turned out they both enjoyed the same things. This also led to some shared vocabulary and a growing number of witty inside jokes. The first book Iain recommended to Michelle was 1177 B.C. by Eric Cline.

After the pandemic postponed her trip for more than two years, Michelle was finally able to travel to Japan for several weeks. Iain shared his experiences living in Nagoya for a time, working with Toyota. Michelle visited the Toyota museum in Nagoya and was delighted by Iain's perspective of the engines and tools and robotic arms she saw there.

Michelle was going through a traveling phase, and she thoroughly enjoyed sharing her experiences with Iain, who was a good listener. He shared some of his own travel experiences in return. She loved going on long hikes and bike rides in other countries, and discovered that Iain....did not, haha. But they also discovered that he was sometimes uneasy about her being on the other side of the world when potentially dangerous world events emerged, and that he was much more comfortable when she was back on North American soil.

In the Fall of 2024, Iain jokingly mentioned marriage and asked Michelle about her "terms and conditions." She didn't think he was truly interested in marriage, and casually brushed him off with a handful of details about marriage related to her religious faith that she figured would cause him to turn tail and run away.

Iain shared his daily adventures of taking care of his aging grandparents. He passed on the stories they told him from their 9+ decades of life. He wrestled frequently with how to make sure their physical, social, and emotional needs were met.

Somewhere along the way, Iain started talking to Michelle about all things Battletech. He played this futuristic role playing game full of "giant stompy robots" on the computer and referred to it as "combat math" and a "great way to relax" at the end of a long day. Michelle liked the story-building, and was fascinated by the interactions among the exceptionally talented community of players. Iain talked Michelle into playing, with some deep compromises involving old fashioned tabletop playing that Iain hadn't done since the 1990s. Since they were 2,000 miles apart, there was an added twist of playing for hours over a video call: two sets of maps, two sets of die, two sets of mech miniatures ...what could possibly go wrong?? They created a mech pilot for Michelle (who named her Sarangerel). They gave her a home planet in the Milky Way, developed her backstory, and put her in a Highlander mech built specifically to withstand a "death from above" crushing move, aka "Highlander Burial" (cue bagpipes and unnecessary risk-taking in battle, https://youtu.be/G88ZTO1RXRs). Michelle was hooked.

In the summer of 2025, Iain started asking more pointed questions about Michelle's ideas and expectations of marriage, pointing out that he really didn't want to go looking for any other dating relationships.

2025 was a busy year of transitions at Michelle's work. The western states were grappling with their strategic direction for complex water issues, involving several surveys and virtual meetings and adjustments to in-person meetings. Michelle's boss was retiring, potentially requiring her to step into his role as Executive Director, which she wasn't entirely certain she wanted. She really rather liked the job she had. Shortly before the Fall meetings in San Pedro, California, the member states selected an excellent and capable Executive Director, allowing Michelle to stay in the role she loved. After a long and exhausting week of meetings at the end of a long year of many meetings....Michelle turned her attention more fully to the increasing conversations with Iain about the possibility of marriage. She decided that if they were really going to consider marriage, they at least needed to meet in person and decide whether they even liked each other when they weren't 2,000 miles apart. She started making plans to visit Iain in Ontario over Christmas. (Which freaked Iain out, just a little bit.)

That Fall, Iain's feisty grandmother Jean passed away. There was an added layer of grief that Michelle and Jean would never get a chance to meet in person.

After several years of long distance friendship, Iain and Michelle spent Christmas and New Year's together, and they didn't hate it! They played Battletech (which was becoming a holiday tradition), went to a hockey game, visited with Iain's brother and his family, and went snowshoeing on Iain's property. Michelle also had the privilege of meeting Iain's grandfather Bill. When they first met, Michelle was conscious both of Bill's current frailty and of his lifetime as a farmer. Michelle grew up in farmer country, descended from generations of farmers and ranchers out West, and she knew her first handshake had to count. She made sure her hand was firm and full of honorable character, and was surprised to find his hand was not frail at all, but was still a solid farmer's handshake. And then Bill continued to firmly hold Michelle's hand for the next half hour as the three of them talked together in the hospital.

After Michelle returned home to Utah in January, Iain and Michelle were a little homesick and mopey about missing each other for the first few weeks. But they also couldn't see a clear path forward. They both had well-established lives and careers, they each owned their homes, and they were both used to doing things their own way. The idea of marriage was tantalizing, but as deeply practical human beings, the reality check of day to day life was more than a little daunting. One evening after serving in the temple, Michelle found herself pondering these seemingly impossible challenges, and suddenly it seemed obvious and noncontroversial that she could rent or sell her house, and potentially continue her job by working remotely from Canada, as though these things were no real obstacle or sacrifice. And she was surprised to feel a deep sense of peace and hope with this new insight and possible path forward.

When the Artemis II crew left Earth to circle the moon in the Orion spacecraft named Integrity, Iain and Michelle kept the footage rolling on their screens every day, sharing their delight over small moments. Iain had taught Michelle how to play with an old Kerbal Space Program, a scaled down version of the math and physics required to achieve orbit, to rocket outward to the Mun and to other planets. It was harder than it looked! But the concepts were already familiar by the time they watched the Artemis II mission, and it was exciting to have a shared vocabulary for the finer details of space flight.

Devastatingly, Michelle's sister Lisa passed away in April. Iain was there for Michelle through the heaviest days of grief, asking for stories about Lisa and feeling sad that he would never get to meet her. He recalled how Michelle had been there for him through his grandmother's decline and death. He observed how this sharing of sorrows and offering comfort (even from 2,000 miles apart) is a meaningful part of a marriage relationship; that it is more than just living parallel lives full of satisfying and productive tasks.

Later that month, while Michelle was flying to Washington, DC, for a week of meetings and visits on the Hill, Iain's grandfather passed away. There were many long conversations in between their respective work schedules, sharing memories and grief and trying to coordinate funeral plans for two funerals on opposite sides of the continent.

Iain and Michelle had talked about possibly scheduling another long visit in August to sort through more of the details of marriage. With Michelle visiting Ontario for Bill's funeral, they moved that timeline up to the month of May...and were surprised how well they got along. It wasn't a vacation, as both of them had work to do. But they found time to go for long walks together among the cedars, deer, turkey, foxes, and porcupines. They shared dinners together. And sometimes they helped each other with big projects. Iain rented a bulldozer to level the top of the hill behind his house by a few inches (and a couple of tons of dirt) so he could clearly see the 500m targets in his shooting range. It was surprisingly fun to coordinate their efforts....and it was a ton of work. (At one point the bulldozer took on a half buried tree that rose up with long flailing roots, and Michelle said it was like watching the bulldozer take on the Kraken and nearly losing the battle!)

Iain drove Michelle around to visit some of his usual haunts, and stopped at a beautiful park overlooking Meaford and the Georgian Bay of Lake Huron, not far from an artillery range. There was a great view of the valley and his property many miles away on the opposite hill. When he turned around and found Michelle taking photos of glacial dropstones, Iain shook his head and laughed about hanging out with a geologist...and then listened with interest as she explained schistosity in metamorphic rocks.

In celebration of the American Memorial Day holiday, Iain took Michelle over to the Priceville Cenotaph, where a monument honors fallen Canadians who served in WWI and WWII. It was a large number of names for such a small town, which resonated for Michelle; she has seen many similar monuments in small towns across the Western U.S. Michelle laughed when Iain kept eyeing the WWI German field machine gun, "like as if" he was considering the problem of how to make it run again.

Iain joined Michelle in Provo, Utah to celebrate the 250th anniversary of her nation's birth. He met several of her neighbors, enjoyed grilled jalapeno hamburgers, watched a parade (full of high school bands, floats, giant balloons, horses, military vehicles, missionaries, and Scottish pipe bands), enjoyed a fireworks show, and watched firefighters wrangle a wildfire on the mountains behind Michelle's house. They drove up Provo Canyon for a picnic between the river and the tectonically folded limestone mountains....where Michelle somehow managed to slice deeply into her finger with a new (and very sharp) blade. Iain very calmly found the first aid kit in Michelle's car and returned to clean the wound and carefully bandage it. They had further plans for the afternoon that seemed more important than stitches (a tour up at Temple Square in Salt Lake City, and then on to visit the Bonneville Salt Flats, a racing mecca and a geologic wonder of continuously evaporating groundwater.)

Iain flew and Michelle drove down to Las Vegas to meet several of her siblings and sobrinos. Iain learned how to play UNO with two different families, shot fun weapons with some of the older kids, played an intense game of Jenga with some of the younger kids (...and lost gracefully), and talked shop with her siblings. Every time they walked out of a pleasantly glacial air conditioned home or building, there was an appalled dual chorus of "IT'S SO HOT OUT HERE!!!" Iain said he would love to come back and visit Michelle's family...but maybe not in the summer.

Michigan has a three day waiting period between submitting an application for a wedding license (in person) and picking it up. So Michelle drove (yes, drove) from Provo, Utah to Grand Island, Nebraska in a single day, just so she could wake up in the morning and spend about 15 minutes exploring a large corn field that is the fictional setting for a university in one of her mystery series. On Sunday she drove to Council Bluffs, Iowa to attend church there, and then on to Wisconsin to stay the night with her ex-mother-in-law, Karen. It was a lot of driving, and the Maps app got a bit creative and adventurous, sending Michelle down a 45 minute dirt road detour off I-80 in Wyoming, where she had to stop for deer and cows and muddy potholes big enough to swallow her car whole. When she managed to get back to the well-paved freeway in one piece, she had saved 15 minutes...

Iain intended to fly to Green Bay, WI, where Michelle would pick him up from the airport and they would drive together the rest of the way up to Ontonagon, MI. Instead, a bit of weather delayed Iain's first flight to Chicago, and the delays meant not arriving in Green Bay until the next day. Michelle backtracked a couple of hours to Chicago. While waiting for Iain's flight to land, she retuned to the Wildwood neighborhood (where one of her children's story series is set) and enjoyed a misty, humid hike along the river trail. It was somehow both magical and suffocating, like walking inside a wet woolen blanket during the golden hour.

Meanwhile, Iain got bumped from his seat (to another seat nearby with ample legroom) to make room for Mr. T and his security detail. Really? Yeah, really. Mr. T had just come from a Fan Expo in Toronto, and was delayed along with everyone else. Iain was feeling stressed about getting to his wedding on time (or at least to the marriage license application deadline!) and was impressed by Mr. T's calm response to the escalating tension and short tempers. His example helped several others around him (including Iain) to also choose to take a deep breath. Iain later drove Michelle's car through the night, navigating rain and fog (and smiling at the irony of passing Sleepy Hollow Road) so they could arrive in Ontonagon by 7:00am the next morning.

After they submitted their application for the wedding license, Iain and Michelle explored Ontonagon County and (hopefully) their future home. They found cafes and restaurants with tasty food and friendly people. They visited a mineral museum, a mining museum, a lighthouse museum, and a historical small town museum. They visited Porcupine Mountain, the Lake of the Clouds, Agate Falls, Bonanza Falls, and the Presque Isle River Waterfalls Trail. They walked along the beaches at Lake Superior (yes Michelle, there are real waves like at the ocean beaches!) and sat on weathered driftwood and talked. They fell into the magic of old books waiting patiently on bookshelves, and into long conversations with strangers who somehow already felt like good friends.

The day before the wedding, the happy couple asked Karla (cousin, witness, bridesmaid, maid of honor, photographer, comedian, and all around rescuer of the bride and groom) to take some wedding photos in various locations, so that they would not need to do that on their wedding day. When they got to the Lake of the Clouds overlook, some of the other hikers on the trail were curious about the basalt outcrop. Karla and Iain teased that the hikers should ask Michelle....who thereupon cheerfully launched into a full explanation of inverted valleys and glaciers across vast periods of geologic time.

Michelle and Iain got married! Somehow it just turned out to be a perfect day. They drove up the mountain with their amazing witnesses, Karla and Brent, and met their wonderful officiant, Nathan. They all climbed out onto the rocks overlooking the Lake of the Clouds. Iain and Michelle marveled over how much they still loved the vows they had written down a few weeks earlier. During their brief ceremony, a crowd of hikers gathered behind them, and when they turned around, the hikers cheered for the newly married couple. One of the hikers agreed to take a photo of the couple and their two witnesses and officiant, and she turned out to be a professional photographer, and did an amazing job!

Iain and Michelle gradually drove their way down through Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, and Michigan before driving across the border into Ontario, Canada. They stopped along the way to visit some family and friends. Iain showed Michelle around Kalamazoo and Detroit where he used to work. They stayed in the old General Motors tower and donned their wedding clothes one more time to enjoy a fancy dinner on the 71st floor.

Nearly two weeks after setting out to get married, Iain and Michelle arrived home in Ontario, with a couple of days to settle in. Iain used his new skid steer to clear tall grass-brush-weeds to make room for a fruit orchard and to clear walking trails on the property. They picked out some paint for the exterior of the house and stain for the decks. They made plans for harvesting the heirloom apples. They enjoyed stargazing at the glittering Milky Way and finding the rings of Saturn. They learned a lot of new skills about compromising!